Single Life!

Hello Lovelies

This post doesn’t have anything to do with fashion (just a forewarning in case you’re not in the mood for the “feels” today). It’s a bit of a personal post that I have been toying with the idea of writing for a while now. The reason I chose  to write about it now as when I post pictures on the topic on my social media it gets quite a bit of attention and girls tag their gal pals, which made me realize that a quite few girls are going through the same thing. 

In my culture if you’re in your mid to late twenties (like myself) and you’re not married it’s basically a sin (not religiously I assure you). People take it upon themselves to wonder, ponder and gossip about your plight (yes they probably see it that way). Eventually one starts to think that there is definitely something wrong with them. This is something that bothered me for quite a while and I won’t lie sometimes it still does. 

I go to functions (weddings, bridal showers, baby showers…..) and of course I either get that pitiful look by some ladies, or the over friendly ones that say “You’re next”, or “you will find someone”. Or the ones that say “You’re so pretty and smart, what’s wrong with the boys”. (If I knew I’d tell you I promise). Damn once I even heard a lady saying “Is that …. daughter, oh she’s the one that’s not married!”. It took everything in me to not turn around and stare her down with my resting b!tc# face, because my mum taught me to always be respectful.  

 (In Sha Allah – God Willing)

I just sit there and think to myself ‘Do they actually think I’m optionally single?’. In case any of you are reading, just to clarify- No I’m not. I have had my fair share of heartbreak, tears and rejection. Which your daughter who got married at the age of 18-21 has probably never known, and In Sha Allah she never has to know. 

Lastly there are the ones that tell you that “you’re better off single”. Oh yes my life seems awesome to you doesn’t it?! Try it when you really crave the company and all your friends are busy (with their husbands and kids nogal). Shopping alone, grabbing coffee, watching a movie alone and well basically doing anything ALONE is not always fun or liberating. Try it out I promise you will really miss your other half.

So this post was for my fellow Muslim singletons. I know how it feels and you’re not alone. I know you wish you could use every funny sarcastic comeback when people ask you “why aren’t you married?” but you sit there and smile and use the appropriate pleasantries if it’s required. Although it annoys the shit out of you. On that note there are kind souls out there that genuinely mean well and trust me you will know it when they do. 

Our soul mates await us (I have that much hope) but for now let’s just revel in the fact that some of them think our lives are awesome.



7 thoughts on “Single Life!

  1. says:

    Salaam ,hi ,really enjoyed ur post ,I’m 43 unmarried I not by choice ,had my share heart breaks few times ,I don’t let people put me down ,yes there remarks hurt a lot ,I have family members that call me menopause coz I’m still ummarried ,I don’t allow this to weigh me down ,I walk with my head high n I always say good things come to those who wait .
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

  2. Rushda says:

    Ah Hun, there will always be those who know what’s best for you, or feel they need to offer advice, regardless of how tactless it may be. Of course everyone wants that someone to share things and you’ve put it in such an eloquent manner. As you say Inshallah your soul mate awaits.
    Hugs xoxo

  3. Lalannie says:

    Just came across this post… tears started welling in my eyes because this is my current situation right now. You have written this so beautifully. I too, have had my heart broken and now it feels worse having people look at you with pity. I walked away from a toxic relationship yet some people have more pity for my singledom than my previous unhappiness. I sometimes think that other people have more issues with singledom than the concerned person. Instead of concerning themselves with when I am going to meet somebody, I think they should rather take the time to match me up with a suitable person…

    • shaheedam says:

      It’s not the easiest situations to be in but surrounding yourself with those who love you and bring positivity to your life are the ones you should be around. Hope your heart is mended soon xx

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